My best friend Denise and I have had some really fantastic, enlightening conversations over the years (she lives in Colorado so we have weekly phone dates), but the past few conversations we’ve had, have been REALLY incredible…

She is pregnant,with my GOD-DAUGHTER!  And with this, she has shared with me how she has become less and less tolerant of people, places and things that have been less than a positive feed for her life.  “Interesting…”, I would tell her because over the past year, I too have become less tolerant of the same.  Perhaps it’s getting older.  Perhaps it’s that life is too short.  Perhaps it’s about realizing what takes priority in ones life.  Whatever it is, we both agreed that there were seriously toxic forces in our lives that needed to be removed asap!  Once we did that, our lives had become so much better, so much healthier and so much more peaceful.  It was not the easiest process, but it was one that had to be done.  I thought that I would feel badly about ridding toxic forces from my life, but to my surprise, I didn’t feel badly at all.  In fact, once that was done, I had more room for positive people and things that have enriched my life in more ways than I could ever imagine.  Denise agreed.  It was so very refreshing and comforting to share this same thought process with Denise because I (we) realized that life is about quality, not quantity.  Get rid of people, places and things that bring you down.  Spend time at places and with people who will compliment your life and make it more beautiful.  Once I (and Denise) did this, we realized how much WE have control over our happiness.  My ‘disease to please’ attitude is long gone and I’m a much happier person for it.  That’s why I truly cherish the amazing friends, family, clients and gifts that I have.  I don’t take any of that for granted and I will always be grateful for those that make my life as wonderful as it is.

With that, I asked Denise if she would like to share her ‘out with the negative’ journey in an article.  So, here it is.  Enjoy.  It’s beautifully written and I really believe this will make a strong impact on your life.

~EAH

Reaching the Top of the Mountain: The Glorious Freedom of Letting Go

By Denise Powell

How begins the daunting task of letting go? Many of us find ourselves explaining a situation that we feel trapped in to another, only to hear the over simplified solution, “just let it go.” For the lucky few, expecting that kind of immediacy in the process may be easy. For most, the seemingly endless process of letting go of whatever haunts us as individuals is a constant feat with a series of steps forward, fall backs, and epiphanies along the way. The acceptance itself that we need to cut something out of our lives can take months, sometimes years, to fully internalize.

Begins the tireless uphill trek with a 50-pound pack strapped to your back. Bring plenty of water, a dry shirt to change into, as you will encounter rain, a flashlight, as it will get dark, and a flask of Jameson. Luckily, there will be passers-by on their way back down from the same place who can offer you a piece of wisdom, and an extra pair of socks. These are the people who will help get you through. Be humble, and take what they offer you, no matter how small. You are not alone.

My uphill journey began carrying a baby. Not on my back, but in my belly, as I am days away from delivering my first baby. Not surprisingly, imagining another being entirely dependent on me altered my view of the world and my place in it. At first, I thought I could still live practically the same life I had lived before including exercise and working 3 jobs. Saying “no” to things was never my strong suit, as I have battled the need to please everyone and that was more important than doing what I instinctively felt was right. I was the product of overprotective parents who made a lot of decisions for me at an early age. When I felt the baby kicking inside of me for the first time, I became worried about all the stress I was under and that it was somehow transferred to her. I began to resent those in my life demanding my energy in various ways. I wanted to push them all away, to build a barrier around my growing baby and me.

Something had to give. I had no choice but to let go of the people and things in my life that were not serving us. I did not want to leave the door ajar anymore. I needed to cut my losses once and for all in order to really let my new life in. Over time, with practice, my tolerance of staying in a relationship or situation that was toxically stealing my precious energy while it could/should be spent on more important things that would lead to authentic happiness, started to dissipate. It was not an easy transition and it did not take overnight. Sometimes I still deal with conflicting thoughts and question if I am living the way I am meant to. Dealing with setbacks takes constant monitoring and subsequent action.

My motivation in letting go was the impending birth of my child. My wish is to raise a strong-minded young woman who trusts herself and can make hard decisions early on, not listen to those who seek to take advantage, while respecting that she is an individual with her own views and instincts.

Sometimes we need to sacrifice being well-liked for self-honesty. It’s too easy to lie to ourselves, to go with the flow as not to provoke confrontation. The reality is that if we had the courage to face the awkward and uncomfortable scenario of conflict, we would find a shortcut to the life we are meant to live. It’s time to get tough. Stop mulling over our grievances too long, move forward, and stop being so nice to people whom take without giving back. It’s imperative to follow our individual catalysts, as long as it’s not destructive, to open ourselves up to making an enemy or two in exchange for self-honesty, because not everyone has our best interest at heart.

Take the trek uphill, even if in the dark. Remember, you are equipped with a flashlight and the rising dawn of the sun every new day. The journey home is all downhill.

I wanted to share the research I gathered from various articles on the benefits of my favorite three nuts.  The pistachio, almond and cashew.  I always keep them in my bag to munch on between clients, work-outs and hunger pangs!  Packed with vitamins, nutrients and an all around fabulous taste, feel ‘guilt free’ when reaching for these guys as a snack of choice!  Enjoy!

PISTACHIOS

Pistachios are not only tasty they are also good for you. Health benefits of pistachios range from many areas. With the help of magnesium and vitamins, pistachios are a stable of many healthy eaters. In the nut family, pistachios stand out as a healthier nut which offers many benefits to the consumer. Pistachios can help in many ways. Some health benefits of pistachios are:

1. Cholesterol-free – Everyone likes a product which is cholesterol free. Because it is cholesterol free, pistachios offer a chance to track your weight. You have the opportunity to be healthier if you follow and eat pistachios. It is not a hard task to perform because it is a nut that you don’t have to feel guilty of eating too much.

2. High in monounsaturated fat – This means that it is a good fat and pistachios, with other nuts, will help with weight loss and circulation.
With many people wanting to watch what they eat, having a nut that has healthy fat is a good idea to eat.

3. Protect you from heart attacks – This alone would get anyone to start incorporating pistachios into their diets. Nobody wants to have heart attacks. Whether you are old or young, eating pistachios are a very good thing to consider.
Another health benefit of pistachios is that the flavor which is given is an ice-creamed flavor taste. Pistachios offer many nutrients and value among other nuts in its family. Pistachios also contain 10% of the needed nutrients your body is in need of everyday. Having these health benefits of pistachios is beneficial to you and the ones you care about. Always remembering your health is the main focus.

Health benefits of pistachios are only as good as the healthy eater. Therefore, if you don’t eat them, you can’t get the benefits. Always be mindful of your body and divulge in pistachios. Plus you help your immune system because of the different vitamins. Your body will thank you later with the prevention of so many harmful diseases, it is no wonder why this nut is the right choice.

ALMONDS

Heart-healthy

Almonds contain several phytochemicals including beta-sisterol stigmasterol and campesterol which is thought to contribute to a healthy heart. A handful of almonds a day helps reduce the risk of heart disease by lowering LDL, or ‘bad’ blood cholesterol by as much as ten percent.
Their high monounsaturated fat content, a key fat found in many Mediterranean diets, gives them much greater benefits than simply being cholesterol-lowering. Nearly every research study shows those who eat a traditional Mediterranean diet not only have a lower risk of heart disease and cancer, they also live longer.

Weight Loss Aid

For many years almonds were considered ‘fattening’. However, studies, including the Nurses’ Health Study and the Physicians’ Follow-up Study showed those who ate the most nuts tended to have lower body mass indexes. Although almonds are high in fat and calories, eating them in moderation can actually help with weight loss.
One study comparing two groups of dieters eating the same amount of calories found the group eating 500 of their calories from almonds lost more weight. One theory is that almond cell walls may limit the amount of dietary fat available for digestion, or for absorption. Therefore, it is a possibility that a small portion of the calories from almonds may not be completely absorbed by the body. Either way, replacing a given amount of calories in the diet with almonds will not equal the same in weight gain.
High Protein Source

As almonds are high in protein, around 18 percent, and contain virtually no carbohydrates, they are ideal for diabetics, pre-diabetics or anyone with blood sugar issues.
Anti-inflammatory and Anti-spasmodic

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, almonds are considered anti-inflammatory, anti-spasmodic, emollient and are also used as a tonic. They are also known as brain and bone food, probably due to their high calcium content. They help with alkalinizing the blood and relieve chi stagnation in the liver.

*In Ayurvedic medicine almonds are used to strengthen ojas and are said to nurture self control and calmness of the mind and nerves.

CASHEWS

Sometimes called “nature’s vitamin pill,” cashew nuts, which now rank #1 among nut crops in the world with 4.1 billion pounds produced in 2002 , have been used to promote wellness for centuries.
Medical Benefits

The cashew tree’s leaves and bark as well as the popular cashew apple possess herbal health benefits that include killing bacteria and germs, stopping diarrhea, drying secretions, increasing the libido, and reducing fever, blood sugar, blood pressure and body temperature, but unfortunately the byproducts of these parts of the cashew tree are not available in North America and Europe, mainly due to their highly perishable qualities.
The cashew nut, a popular treat found on grocery and health food store shelves across the world, is jam-packed with nutritional content. It packs 5 grams of protein per ounce and high levels of the essential minerals iron, magnesium, phosphorus, zinc, copper and manganese, which are utilized in holistic health solutions and healthy diets.
Diet and Weight Management

Cashew nuts do have a relatively high fat content (12 grams per ounce, 2 grams saturated fat), but it is considered “good fat.” This is due to the agreeable fat ratio in the nut, 1:2:1 for saturated, monounsaturated, and polyunsaturated, respectively, which scientists say is the ideal ratio for optimal health.
Cashew nuts also have a fatty acid profile that contributes to good health through phytosterols, tocopherols, and sqaulene, all of which lower the risk of heart disease, combined with the nut’s zero percent cholesterol content.
Even with the relatively high fat content, cashew nuts are considered to be a “low-fat” nut. In fact, cashew nuts contain less fat per serving than many other popular nuts commonly found in grocery stores and health food stores, including almonds, walnuts, peanuts and pecans.
Recommendations vary for cashew nut consumption in diet and weight loss. Cashew nuts have a high energy density and high amount of dietary fiber, both which have been attributed to a beneficial effect on weight management, but only when eaten in moderation
Cardiovascular and Circulatory Health

With no cholesterol, a rarity for such a tasty and pleasing treat, cashew nuts are a healthy fat food for heart patients. And because of their high levels of monounsaturated fatty acids, they also help support healthy levels of low good (HDL) cholesterol.

Hope you all enjoyed this info.

In health,
~EAH

When I look at Antoinette D’Asaro, my absolutely beautiful grandmother, I often see myself…and that makes me smile.  It sort of helps me to see what I will look like when I’m her age.  And to look like her, would be a gift!

My Grandmother, Antoinette D’Asaro, is 94 years young.   I say young because she is still spunky, eager and hungry for life as if she were still a teenager.  Although she’s definitely getting ‘up there’ in age, she is one of the first people I call when I need to vent, chat, or even gossip.  She loves her gossip!  And it’s a funny thing…any time I think I have valid reason to vent, she kind of laughs at me and says “Lee, don’t sweat it.”  She also tells me to “get a man and get married already”, but I digress…

This woman has lived (and is still living!) a full and fabulous life.  She’s been though a TON.  The depression.  Raising a family.  Working when it was unheard of to work.  Proudly earning her neighborhood name, Aunt Soup, she was an amazing cook.  She would feed half the neighborhood ‘just because’.  We had lots of family living in Little Italy way back when and there was a true sense of community.  I can remember jumping from fire escape to fire escape visiting cousins and friends.  Sharing meals and laughs.  Always being around loved ones.  It was just how it was.  And I loved it.  Sadly, over the years, as neighborhoods often do, we lost the heart and soul of Little Italy.  I say ‘sadly’. because that neighborhood that we all knew and loved so much, is no longer in existence.  The only street that can possibly even be called Little Italy, is Mulberry Street.  Sure, there are tons of Italian restaurants on that street and a museum of the old hood was recently installed, but it’s not the same.  It’s more of a tourist haven more than the neighborhood it once was.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for tourism and NYC needs it to thrive, but it still pains me to see how the neighborhood that I knew and loved so much, changed dramatically.

Getting back to Aunt Soup…

I wanted to share a bit about grandma because she has been a tremendous inspiration to me.  She came from parents straight off the boat from Italy who spoke no English at all.  Grandma had to learn English, which after studying it and still not being well versed, is no easy task to say the least.

She became a seamstress and always worked hard to help grandpa (the greatest man I ever knew-that will be another article!) keep food on the table.  He worked as a sanitation man as well as a professional boxer.  They had three children, my mom being the baby.  The great thing about grandma and g-pa is that they lived on the same block for over 65 years!  They both grew up on Elizabeth Street and started ‘courting’ when she was 14 and he was 18.  The story goes “I took her out for an ice-cream sundae, and soon after, we were engaged.”  As a couple, their love was tremendously inspirational.  They were in love like i’ve never seen before.  My parents never exuded that kind of affection so I clung to g-ma and g-pa as role models.  The biggest and greatest thing to watch was how much they made each other laugh.  It warmed my soul.  I knew I wanted to have a marriage like theirs.  They were a real team and you could tell, just by a look, how much in love with one another they were.

Perhaps this is turning a bit into a love story here…

Ok, so it’s a combo story.  A story about being a woman during the great depression and still being able to bring money in for her family.  A story of values, loyalty, and respect for all people.  A story of passing the ‘strength gene’ down to the next generation.  A story about my roots.  My role models.  My inspiration where ‘to be the best me’ came from.

Sure, g-ma would joke from time to time about how I should marry some rich doctor so i don’t ‘have’ to work.  But she’d then laugh and say “Lee, you just get yourself a good man, like Daddy.  She used to call g-pa ‘daddy’.  I started to realize more and more what was important in a life partner.  What makes a marriage work.  Really, really work.  I realized that looks go.  Though she is still stunningly beautiful in my eyes.  Wrinkles form.  Though thanks to her favorite ‘Clinique’ cream that she swears by, she has skin like porcelain.  And bodies change.  Ok, so she’s a little pudgier and seemed to have shrunk a few feet!    But none of that matters when you have that person in your life who loves you for YOU.  Unconditionally and whole-heartedly.  With or without make-up.  With or without the so called ‘perfect figure’.  I started to understand the true meaning behind wedding vows.  And more importantly, the true meaning behind real beauty.  It comes from within you.  And it emanates through your heart, soul, bones, flesh, smile, eyes,…  How your perceive yourself and your loved ones.  And how they truly see YOU.  For the wonderful, funny, silly, quirky, goofy, sexy, smart, stubborn (insert more here!) beautiful human being you are.  At ANY and EVERY age!

So, ladies (and gents) don’t worry about laugh lines.  They just mean you LAUGH!  Don’t worry about a few wrinkles.  That’s a sign of wisdom!  Don’t worry about a few extra pounds.  That means good food, with great company!

Live life happily.  Be kind, generous, funny and genuine.  If you live that way, you have no choice but to be beautiful.

Dedicated to a woman who has truly earned the title of BEAUTIFUL, all my love and respect to Antoinette D’Asaro.

With love,
EAH