Who Controls your life? I used to struggle with this question all the time because the answer should always be “I am in Control of my own life” but so often that is not the case and for me it was almost never the answer. When i first moved to New York i got a job within the first week as a personal assistant and nanny. I was so happy and excited about this job, it was a way of making money and paying the bills. When i got this job I asked myself is this what i want to do? I came to the conclusion that NO, its not what i want to do, I was in NY to be in the fashion, beauty, and art industries and not here to be working for a family that was in no way fashion related. I tried to turn down the job but at this time i was new to the city, needed and had to make money to pay rent and live so I ended up taking the job. I worked as an assistant, and nanny to the family and became very very involved in every aspect of their lives. I was working, and making money but not really doing anything i came to NY for. When you do a job that involves a family it is very hard to get out once you are in. Reasons being not only is the whole family involved, you have invested so much of yourself with them, and they to have invested in you so it is very hard and near impossible to leave. While i was doing this job I would ask myself why are you not in school, why are you not meeting industry people daily, why are you in NYC again, what am i doing waisting time, and then i would come to the same conclusion as always….Im Making money, IM LIVING. But if I am here making money to live, and living to make money then where is the joy in that. I really had to think who controls my life? answer, NOT ME! My JOB controlled my life and not in a good way. Jobs if you are passionate about them can control your life and make your life better, but this was by no means a good way. I was always thinking breathing and living my job. I would be at home worried about if gave the kids there medications or filled out their camp forms. I would think of any and everything parents think about i was letting my work worries into my home life way to much and it was filling me with anxiety. Finally i got the balls to realize that I have to do what is best for me and what is best for my life. I had to leave this job even though i knew it would be so hard on this family it was even harder for me. I had to leave and do what i came to NY for and that was to peruse a career in fashion, beauty, and art. The worst part about leaving a job besides hurting people is trying to find another job. New York is a dog eat dog world and everyone and their mom is in the fashion industry so everyone wants you to work for free because if you don’t they will hire an intern to replace you in two seconds. Interns are everywhere and Internships are readily available but you must have money first to be able to work for free but you really need to be an intern first to really get a good job to have the money to work for free. So with all that said I wanted to quit but i needed to find a job first. I remained a PA for so long because i could not find a job in the industry that was going to pay me good enough money. By this point my PA was just becoming overwhelming and it was bleeding me dry of my passion for NYC. I was then trying to exhaust all my connections as to what to do, how to make a change to reagin control of my life. I spoke with one of my mentors in life Jo Ross from Louisville KY, and she told me of some jobs back in Louisville that I could do. These jobs sounded amazing and were in the industry i needed so badly to be in. However i didn’t want to go back to Louisville I wanted to be in NY but then i had to evaluate what was the most important thing, and the answer was my happiness. I am a person ruled by, happiness, positive energy, and Passion. I needed to be involved in the fields of fashion, beauty, and art again for my own life to move forward. I then made the executive decision that i had to go back to Louisville as soon as possible to do these jobs. I did not want to move for good but to leave for a few months to get my life back together and gain control of my life again. I left my PA job and it is still to date one of the hardest things I have ever done and went back to Louisville for a little while. I sublet my room at my apt and put most of my things in storage with the exception of what my sister wanted to borrow. All of this took place within 3 weeks. The decision making, me putting in my two weeks at work, booking my flight, subletting my room, getting a storage unit, and going back to Louisville. It was so dramatic but so very desperately needed to happen. I left my job went back to Louisville did some amazing things in the fashion, beauty, and art fields and then returned back to NY 3 months later. Upon return I did lots of fun jobs like body painting for Peta, Doing makeup for a music video and CD album cover, Modeling in a plus size fashion show, filming my own new TV show for TLC, and being featured in Time out New York’s Style Icon issue as one of the most stylish New yorkers. So i can now say that sense my return to NYC i have taken a 360 degree turn on who and what controls my life and that is me!!! Myself and my passions are now in control of my future and I have never been happier! So i ask you who controls your life and if the answer is not you then how can you make that change and gain back the control of your own life? How can you make sure your future is in your own hands?