Amazing At Every Age
When I look at Antoinette D’Asaro, my absolutely beautiful grandmother, I often see myself…and that makes me smile. It sort of helps me to see what I will look like when I’m her age. And to look like her, would be a gift!
My Grandmother, Antoinette D’Asaro, is 94 years young. I say young because she is still spunky, eager and hungry for life as if she were still a teenager. Although she’s definitely getting ‘up there’ in age, she is one of the first people I call when I need to vent, chat, or even gossip. She loves her gossip! And it’s a funny thing…any time I think I have valid reason to vent, she kind of laughs at me and says “Lee, don’t sweat it.” She also tells me to “get a man and get married already”, but I digress…
This woman has lived (and is still living!) a full and fabulous life. She’s been though a TON. The depression. Raising a family. Working when it was unheard of to work. Proudly earning her neighborhood name, Aunt Soup, she was an amazing cook. She would feed half the neighborhood ‘just because’. We had lots of family living in Little Italy way back when and there was a true sense of community. I can remember jumping from fire escape to fire escape visiting cousins and friends. Sharing meals and laughs. Always being around loved ones. It was just how it was. And I loved it. Sadly, over the years, as neighborhoods often do, we lost the heart and soul of Little Italy. I say ‘sadly’. because that neighborhood that we all knew and loved so much, is no longer in existence. The only street that can possibly even be called Little Italy, is Mulberry Street. Sure, there are tons of Italian restaurants on that street and a museum of the old hood was recently installed, but it’s not the same. It’s more of a tourist haven more than the neighborhood it once was. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for tourism and NYC needs it to thrive, but it still pains me to see how the neighborhood that I knew and loved so much, changed dramatically.
Getting back to Aunt Soup…
I wanted to share a bit about grandma because she has been a tremendous inspiration to me. She came from parents straight off the boat from Italy who spoke no English at all. Grandma had to learn English, which after studying it and still not being well versed, is no easy task to say the least.
She became a seamstress and always worked hard to help grandpa (the greatest man I ever knew-that will be another article!) keep food on the table. He worked as a sanitation man as well as a professional boxer. They had three children, my mom being the baby. The great thing about grandma and g-pa is that they lived on the same block for over 65 years! They both grew up on Elizabeth Street and started ‘courting’ when she was 14 and he was 18. The story goes “I took her out for an ice-cream sundae, and soon after, we were engaged.” As a couple, their love was tremendously inspirational. They were in love like i’ve never seen before. My parents never exuded that kind of affection so I clung to g-ma and g-pa as role models. The biggest and greatest thing to watch was how much they made each other laugh. It warmed my soul. I knew I wanted to have a marriage like theirs. They were a real team and you could tell, just by a look, how much in love with one another they were.
Perhaps this is turning a bit into a love story here…
Ok, so it’s a combo story. A story about being a woman during the great depression and still being able to bring money in for her family. A story of values, loyalty, and respect for all people. A story of passing the ‘strength gene’ down to the next generation. A story about my roots. My role models. My inspiration where ‘to be the best me’ came from.
Sure, g-ma would joke from time to time about how I should marry some rich doctor so i don’t ‘have’ to work. But she’d then laugh and say “Lee, you just get yourself a good man, like Daddy. She used to call g-pa ‘daddy’. I started to realize more and more what was important in a life partner. What makes a marriage work. Really, really work. I realized that looks go. Though she is still stunningly beautiful in my eyes. Wrinkles form. Though thanks to her favorite ‘Clinique’ cream that she swears by, she has skin like porcelain. And bodies change. Ok, so she’s a little pudgier and seemed to have shrunk a few feet! 
But none of that matters when you have that person in your life who loves you for YOU. Unconditionally and whole-heartedly. With or without make-up. With or without the so called ‘perfect figure’. I started to understand the true meaning behind wedding vows. And more importantly, the true meaning behind real beauty. It comes from within you. And it emanates through your heart, soul, bones, flesh, smile, eyes,… How your perceive yourself and your loved ones. And how they truly see YOU. For the wonderful, funny, silly, quirky, goofy, sexy, smart, stubborn (insert more here!) beautiful human being you are. At ANY and EVERY age!
So, ladies (and gents) don’t worry about laugh lines. They just mean you LAUGH! Don’t worry about a few wrinkles. That’s a sign of wisdom! Don’t worry about a few extra pounds. That means good food, with great company!
Live life happily. Be kind, generous, funny and genuine. If you live that way, you have no choice but to be beautiful.
Dedicated to a woman who has truly earned the title of BEAUTIFUL, all my love and respect to Antoinette D’Asaro.
With love,
EAH
